my fart is so loud it can actually wake people up ya know! one morning, BF was still sleeping soundly. i farted. i saw him opened his eyes, gave me a stare....and went back to sleep. keng leh.
ok you may stop laughing now.
in an unrelated event....
i had constipation on saturday. obviously, when your shit accumulates in your rectum...your gas will smell like shit (literally). so that was what happened on sunday. my fart stinked/stank/stunk (whatever it is) like shit.
i tried to fart silently and pretended that nothing happened. i could hide the sound but not the smell. when BF smelled something shitty (literally again)...the 1st person he suspected was ME! the 1st thing that came from his mouth was "did you fart?" how could he? sister and mom were around too...it could be them. hmph!
by the way....
jackie farts too you know. i swear i heard him fart before!
i'm actually scared of my own room. i mean the room in ipoh. i hardly sleep alone in that room since the day me and my family moved into the house. i'm not sure why, but there's some kind of eerie feeling to that room at night. especially with those weird nocturnal creatures sound making. and also thanks to my wild imagination due to excessive horror movies during high school days.
this is no joke. i am very sure i have tachycardia each time i try to switch off the lights and force myself to sleep. if you were to measure my blood pressure at that moment, i am positive it will be quite high. most of the time, i will end up moving my mattress into sisters' room and sleep with them. i am considering stealing dad's beta blocker to help me sleep. kidding.
sleeping with my sisters actually solved this problem.
never did i realise that both my sisters will eventually leave home to study elsewhere. now that i have graduated....i will be in ipoh for a very long time.
so last night, youngest sis finally moved to kampar. which means i had to sleep all alone yesterday.
days before, i have bought 3 packets of glow-in-dark stars to be stuck to the ceiling and wall of my room. so that when the room is in total darkness, i could still see some stars.
but that didn't really help last night. i heart was pounding real fast. i kept imagining something was staring at me.
i moved a radio into my room, turned on the radio, and tried to sleep. the music helped to distract me a little bit, so i slept till 5 am.
i woke up at 5 am, only to toss and turn on the bed again, i gave up and turned on the lights and went back to sleep.
Warning : This Could Be Boring, But I Am Bored, That's Why I'm Doing This.
me got tagged by kitty ann. so must bagi muka sikit. hehehe.
besides, i have nothing else to do besides scrutinizing the quality of my own shit everyday. as a conclusion of my daily observations, i am still a sinker. sigh. oh yeah, i realise that i fart a lot. you know, not those silent and smelly type of fart, but those loud ones that screams "now hear my mega fart!" anyone knows how solve my farting problem? i fear BF will dump me if i keep farting those mega farts frequently. i've tried to tahan the fart, but i will end up having stomach ache, that can only be cured by releasing all the gas inside. balik-balik also need to fart.
anyway, here's the tag. don't yawn la...gimme some face a bit.
1st tag:
1. Do you believe in love at first sight? definitely no. but i believe in infatuation at first sight.
2. Have you ever felt stupid? Why? noooo!!! i'm smart!! i'm smart!!! *in self-denial*
3. Where is the place that you want to go the most? as at this moment, the Scream Park in Sunway Lagoon. sis said it's the scariest haunted park. but no one to go with. =(
4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be? to be a few inches taller. if granted another wish, i wanna be slim too. speaking of which, the other day, i was asking BF if i am fat, he said i am chubby. so i made some noise. and he said this "then, you want me to say you are slim is it?" that made me shaddup. he's so honest.
5. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain? obviously.
6. Do you like being who you are today? i guess so.
7. If you win $1 million, what would you do? donate to china....NOT! first of all, spend on slimming, then go to yun nam hair care to grow some hair (on scalp, not pubes), do liposuction, buy a house, buy a car...the leftovers....belanja everyone makan lo.
8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her? that depends on my mood.
9. Who are the top five people in the world you would wish to meet? let's see....can't list out top 5 la...but there's one particular dog that i wanna meet, spudgy. i suspect he's jackie's long lost brother. pls scroll down to see who's spudgy.
10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half? willing to withstand my mega farts.
11. Do you believe in fate? sometimes.
12. Which do you prefer from your other half? hug? or a kiss? can't i have both?
13. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet? point it out to me, but discreetly.
14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life? food! there's no meaning to my existence if there's no good food!
15. Are you a shopaholic or not? i don't really shop, unless if i really have to.
16. What kind of electronic device/gadget you own that you like most? my PC
17. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change? me swearing uncontrollably. and also the farting.
18. Are you in love? Yeap.
19. If given a chance, do you want to see your future? no thank you.
20. Would you still be friend to your best friend whom had betrayed your trust? it depends. malas wanna explain. when it does happen i'll tell you all. ----- 2nd tag:
1. Do you eat a lot of fast food? how do you define a lot? once a week? once a month? but i'm not really a big fan of fast food. i can fry better fries than KFC. hmph! theirs are soggy. McD's ones are slightly better, but mine is still the best. *bangga diri*
2. Besides your mouth, where is your favorite spot to get kissed? i choose to remain silent.
3. Were you happy when you woke up today? i dunno. but i felt tired. 4. Have you ever streaked? what is this supposed to mean?
5. Are you an understanding person? not sure wor.
6. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? narnia. it was so-s0. i wanna watch iron man!! and forbidden kingdom!!! who wanna watch with me?
7. Did you pray before you went to bed last night? nope. hehe.
8. What did you last get upset about? the realisation that i am a sinker, and will never be a floater.
9. Do you eat candy on a daily basis? not really.
10. Does it make you happy to get letters in the mail? obviously.
11. What are you looking forward to this summer? Sex and The City Movie
12. Who was the last person you ate with? pei ming and pei pei. we ate bihun goreng in front of the tv while gossiping.
13. Do raisins belong in cookies? apa ni?
14. What's your screen name? pling
15. Walking into a party, what's the first thing you notice? the buffet spread! and, leng chais!
16. Are you currently taking a science class in school? i've just graduated la.
17. You've just won a free vacation to either South America or North Korea? anyone will do.
18. Kiss on the first date? Nope.
19. Would you rather have chicken or steak? since i can't take beef, i have no choice but to choose chicken. but i prefer mutton to chicken. yum yum.
20. What's one thing you've learned? loud farts produces no smell, and silent farts come with stinking smell.
21. Who was the last person you took a picture of? my little cousins.
22. Would you ever donate blood? i want to. but i'm afraid of the pain. but i've pledged my organs though.
23. How many snack machines are in your school? i'm too old for school.
24. Have you ever felt replaced? replaced? by what or who?
25. Are there deerheads covering any walls in your house? apa tu?
26. Do you believe in karma? yes, but not all of the time.
27. Have you ever been asked out? yeah...yumcha also counted what.
28. Are you good at telling jokes? dunno wor..... but i know i'm good at telling disgusting stories.
29. Do you wish you had smaller feet? my size is just nice.
30. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? good friends yeah.
31. When ordering sushi, what do you get? anything that is cooked. not a big fan of sushi.
32. How many of your friends have seen you naked? No one. not even jackie.
33. Do you write in cursive or in print? in print.
34. What were you doing at 10 am? watching the martha stewart show on ntv7.
35. Are you different now than you were six months ago? 6 months ago.....i fart lesser.
36. What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? air tebu.
----- 3rd tag:
Age That I Wish To Go Back To:
form 6. because i really regretted that i didn't kick mrs yee's ass off.
so now, this is the time when i'm supposed to tag others....but i malas...anyone who reads this wanna tag themselves, pls feel free to do so ya.
as promised, this is the video of spudgy the dog. doesn't he look suspiciously like jackie's long lost brother?
...but i have lost my source of inspiration....my housemates. i mean, ex-housemates. now that i have finally moved out of that shithole for good....i guess i won't be seeing any of them....until convo. woohoo!
let's begin with a disgusting story, shall we? i just had a bowel movement. and sadly, my shit sinks. and so did jackie. sadly, i can't tell if his shit floats or sinks cause he shits on the grass.
have you ever seen a big piece of turd so BIG that you can't flush it at the 1st attempt? i'm not sure if it's too big to enter the shithole or if it's too heavy that the inertia is too great to be pushed by the flushing water. i flushed it for the 1st time......nothing happened. 2nd time around, the shit remained at the same spot, but the water has turned brownish. you know, some shit molecules started to break down and dispersed in the water. urgh. so i got fed up, and tried to break up that big piece of shit into smaller pieces by using water hose. the water turned into dark brown and i couldn't see that piece of shit at all.
i thought that the shit has finally broken down into many baby shits. i flushed for the 3rd time. the water became clear, but to my horror, that shit was still there, just smaller in size. i don't wanna continue what happened next. that's up to your imagination.
a few of you have asked when do i wanna get married. so here's the answer : when i am slim enough to look extraordinarily gorgeous in a bridal gown.
that means you all have to wait till the cows come home. hehe.
and in case you all have forgotten how i look like...
me went to genting casino last week. as usual, i expected the guard there to check my IC. as i walked towards the entrance, i started to slip my hand into my pouch to search for my wallet..... i was so prepared to present my IC to the guards.
BUT....
to my surprise.......they didn't even bother to look at me!
Finally, after 4 years of struggling to survive living with shitty housemates.....phew! it's a big relief. i don't have to tolerate anymore nonsense from them. i don't have to see mouldy panties anymore whenever i bathe. i don't have to stand the filthiness of the house anymore. and most of all, no more sotongs to annoy me to PMS everyday.
if you ask me, i won't miss them AT ALL! i've been waiting for this day to come man!
can you believe it? i'm done with studies! i can't believe it myself! and hopefully i will blog consistently when i'm on holidays.
will be rotting in ipoh for the next 3 months....or more if i get posted to ipoh GH. call me k!!!
